open mics, poptart girl, great weekend

quick update. the last week or so has been pretty fun so i gotta report. last thursday i played an open mic with clare. we played a beatles cover in our own style and an original duet. it was surprising how many people were there, and it was nice to have a few of them come up and say they really enjoyed our songs. nothing better when you feel that someones compliment is heartfelt.

tuesday was the highlight of my week tho. i found out that i still have a pair! i went to the city to say bye to kevin and he got me into another free show (dr dog.) that marks 6 consecutive shows i havent paid for, i believe. thats divine provision my friends. it was a grand show, those guys have mastered harmonizing the guitar parts, and that was something ive always wanted to do. at the show i ran into my friend alison and her buds. so we all decided we should go somewhere to eat. everything was closed but someone mentioned that pinup bowl had poptarts. i was so hungry that it sounded like the greatest idea in the world.

so we went to pin up and i Bee lined it to the bar and asked for a pop tart. there was a ridiculously cute girl sitting there and so i pretended not to see her. but something happened that never happens, she talked to me. "that is the cutest. ive never seen anyone order a pop tart here. thats so cute." apparently her dogs name was pop tart also, so small world huh. soooo, after talking a bit i got my powdered sugared blueberry pt and i said it was nice meeting you and returned to my friends. then i thought what the 'ell, and went back and got her number. which is the very first time i have asked for a strangers number. very fun. nothing will probably come of it, but at least i have a cool story.

and this weekend was also a blast. i had a great saturday night hanging with new friends, and sunday was just what i needed. i spent almost the whole day lazing around.

well, first i played soccer with alison's coed team. it was an eye opener. ive been socially smoking, or smocially soaking as some would say, for about 5 months. and it caught up to me. i couldnt run at ALL, and it was so painful, which in turn made me a dreadful soccer player. at one point i actually just fell right on my face while dribbling (no one guarding me either). soooo, yeah, i am really inspired to start taking care of my body again. we shall see.

and finally tonight, i recorded some song ideas on abbys computer and it just sounded aweful. i cant believe how much i love my music when im playing it and how dumb it sounds when im listening. i am at a crossroads now trying to figure out what im doing that makes my writing sound so silly. hopefully, time will tell!

i love life and see good days.

carriage house

small progress has been made and it excites me so much. i have begun practicing with clare, if we actually start getting gigs we've decided we want to be called 'arthur and eleanor.' we have 3 songs down pretty well so far. however, i also have had 2 practices with these fellows i met named slade and tucker. they are very cool people and have great taste in music. we've been talking about getting together to jam but finally started meeting a couple sundays ago. we meet at a carriage house behind the church slades dad owns off hanley road. so for now we are calling ourselves such (altho, it kinda reminds me of carol house) its really been fun. i LOVE making music, and its two different experiences playing alone and playing with others. both good, but very different energies.

tonights get together went so well that i am now impatient. i want to start having full songs together so as to open for other bands. but alas, we have a long road ahead. we have lots of half songs, and, while slade has a great singing voice, we also want him to be our drummer, and he is just starting. so time will tell.

also, this weekend at a party with friends 2 cards players showed up. i dont watch baseball so i didnt know it was anyone worth mentioning, but apparently ryan franklin is kind of a big deal. he and todd w something were there and looked bored the whole time.

more importantly, zack was in town for his sisters wedding, and we had a good ole time as usual. we were able to catch up on all kinds of stories about the past 6 months. we also went bowling with kev and that is quickly becoming an annual tradition for when we are together. i shot the best of my life (172) but still somehow ended up losing all bets placed...again!

ugh...its 130 and i have to wake up tomorrow. theres more im sure, but ive gotta hit that hay.

priorities, moving on, DJing

deck! how was cali? hows the new house? im pumped for you and miss you terribly man. i appreciated your priorities list. i asked a few people and you were the only one who responded. i still am working on mine but i know that creating music and spending as much quality time with people i love are probably the top two in my life right now. obviously i dont want it to be that way. i want God to be there in the number one spot....but im just being honest. im finding i operate the best when im striving for honesty not perfection.

i do really like those things you strive for deck, and it confirmed why i respect you more than most anyone ive ever or ever will meet. those are pretty much words to live a life by "be a humble man of faith, who loves his wife genuinely, raises children of strong character and gives more than i take." mm mm mmmm right now i guess the goal is to be a humble man of faith who loves himself and those around him genuinely and gives more than i take.

i am at a little bit of a loss right now. i love that i am self aware enough to know my priorities are out of wack, but frightened i will never remember how to be alone with God on a regular basis. frightened that i am starting to become ok with not understanding so many things about life. for instance, my bro in law tried having a convo with me about politics during a long car ride. and i just went mute. i didnt care and i didnt want to care. i dont understand governments and i dont see what good it would do even if i did. so have i just gotten mentally lazy? yep. i think thats it. this is the most introspective ive been in months! haha

i just read someone elses blog and it encouraged me to instrospect again....fyi


lifes been good. dont know if i mentioned this, but i saw this terrific movie called 500 days of summer and it really struck a chord with me. its basically about a failed romance and it helped show me other people have felt the pain i have, and it gave me great comfort and hope for the future. breaking up is the suckiest experience, and i certainly hope i dont have to endure that many more times in my life. cant even imagine divorce.

but anyways...

the real reason im even signing onto my blog tonight is because i finally had a blog worthy occurrence! friday night i experienced a first. something i didnt even think i would have the opportunity to do, so i didnt even bother putting it on a 'to do before i die list'. but now i can AND cross it off.

ok, enough preface... i was a DJ!

i got off work on friday at 730. and was planning on having a long shower and taking it easy (either chilling with charles or just going right to bed bc i was pretty sick all day) then i got a text at 8pm from my good friend Doug, who is the DJ mastermind behind a couple dance parties in st louis. the text read "hey totally random....but think you'd be down for djing tonight @ 80s club? i can give you a crash course/$80 and tips. Lmk?"

i couldnt believe it. i still cant. what a cool opportunity. so i said what time?

i got there about 10 and he showed me the way it works. split screen with one song thats playing and one in cue. i just had to pick an 80s tune drag it to the cue, check the levels to make sure it wasnt too loud or quiet, and then fade from one song to the next. it was pretty easy, but very intimidating and nerve racking. definitely the time of your life, dont get me wrong, but scary knowing the party rests upon your fingertips.

many many cute girls requesting silly songs. im still working on appreciating 80s music, but i am pretty much a convert after that night. i hate all the good lookin girls distracting me in life btw. its just knowing that right now everyone is a potential future. i dont like it. its overwhelming. i wish girls had to wear badges or something that explained what was really going on behind the pretty face. like "clingy" or "drama queen" or "petty" this way you wouldnt even have to waste time thinking hmmm im super nervous about talking to her bc u could simply find out the crazy before wasting any time. ...if im honest, im probably still too damaged to even be thinking about girls at all...yeah, im tired of thinking about the future. forget this paragraph. im just keeping my eye on what today brings for now (okay, technically tomorrow, since its 1am, but you know what i mean).

also some guy tipped me 10 to play thriller! haha

and finally, im reading travels with charley at work. falling in love with steinbeck all over again. and i had a convo with an old fam friend yesterday about writing and realized i have alot of new life material. so i need to get back on the writing horse! thats an exciting thought if i can get some discipline and remember how to use my brain.

all in time.

open mics and a quick summer.

well this summer was definitely the fastest few months of my entire life. it has been a blur of work, playing music, and spending time with new people. i wish i couldve just skipped over july to be perfectly honest, so im glad that it went so quick.

august was a mix of good times and work... i could have my time line mixed up but i think about a month and a half ago carrie (my sister) found an open mic night in downtown st charles. then i went online and found another one, which inspired me to start practicing my songs again. its been really exciting over the past month+ ive been practicing my songs alot and playing once or twice a week.

playing out is very rewarding. it either goes really well and you can see people enjoying it, or it goes really aweful and you can learn what not to do for the future. not to mention you get to meet other musicians and see other people doing the same thing.

the first one i was so nervous that i couldnt really properly breathe/sing. it went well enough tho, people seemed to enjoy it, and a girl that also played piano came up and said she liked it.

then after 3 open mics in 3 different locations i got pretty comfy in front of people (which i didnt think would ever happen, so that was exciting in itself). i performed silly songs like rocky raccoon and hit me baby one more time as well as my original songs. and its cool to get input...one guy told me i was pitchy, one told me i sounded like fray (which seems like a critique to me), yet little things like seeing the barista come over from the bar to watch are really encouraging.

...
super sick of the job. going to begin job hunting in the city within the week. im pretty tired of commuting to everywhere i need to be, especially with an suv. i have no time for little things like journaling or running or watching a movie. i bought running shoes so i could start running this summer and i havent run once. ugh!

i probably have tons of stories, but right now im too tired to remember.

scatterbrained update.

most likely i will leave out all of the important details. but i feel i must at least put forth effort to update again. usfidelis has been completely restructured in order to stay legit, which is awesome idealogically. in practice it's aweful. the management is just kind of a joke, and the last two weeks have been a living nightmare.

i have had 4 different managers in 2 weeks, i was promoted to the call backs sales then to the main sales floor for 3 days and then back to callbacks. ive been through at least 7 'training' sessions where they tell us all of the things that have changed and what we must do to keep our jobs. lots of people have quit, even sam! and my sales have been nothing short of humiliating. and the power trips we must endure are maddening.

my buddy chad got demoted even tho he has the highest closing percentage on the floor for absolutely no clear reason. and the manager i had would tell me that putting notes into a file for more than 5 minutes was bullshit and tell me that i shouldnt be kicking my 'little ball' (soccerball) around instead of studying the scripts and focusing, even tho 5 minutes prior he was saying to be relaxed and overly friendly on the phone. the inconsistencies are outrageous everyday. they tell us to make a friend on the phone and then tell us in the very same breathe to get thru the script quickly to get to the "NO" so we can rebuttle them. what?

anyways, now thats off my chest, i am still enjoying the challenge of sales. to do it correctly is a major rush. and i had my best day in a month on friday! also my newest of managers is actually a great guy.

outside of work i housesat for dad recently whilst they went frolicking throughout europe. good fun and a good lesson on responsibility. taking care of a hyper dog is just infuriating. but i loved coming home to the city each night and i loved playing piano each night with a nice jack and coke or glass of oj. i even learned to enjoy waking up 20 minutes early to take wesley for a walk in the park. also, while in venice charlie proposed to julie on a bridge!!!! how effing romantic is that. maaaan, i love that kid!

i am still being pleasantly surprised with how much i learn to love st louis more each year. the city has much more open doors once you are a bit older too. im learning this more and more as well. finding gems like london calling and the fucking bike club. not to mention all the little spots you can go like the loop, the cwe, clayton, washington ave, grand, and all the beautiful parks. and i keep meeting new and interesting people too, which just gives me so much hope for humanity and the future of my life (shout out to some cool people ive met: doug, eleanor, erin, tyler, and chad).

a bit melancholy that mj passed on, he was a mad genius and ultimately a tragic story that may be forever misunderstood.

....yet, happy that mars came out with a new disc, and i just found out im going to coldplay and pitchfork in july!

speaking of concerts. i also got to be a part of 2 more free concerts and this time legitimately. one was santigold (the picture) and that was just tons of fun, the other was the dittybops at madart gallery (where kevin sprayed a glowstick all over me...thats what she said).

i love life and i see good days.

good days.

well life is great. i have been number 4 in the department the whole month, and am most likely going to try my hands at being a salesman next month! i dont know if you've noticed or not, but there have been 3 front page headlines, and one today show interview that totally bashed us (us fidelis). it has been alright tho, business hasnt been affected at all, and our businesses practices have become way better. so while i am embarrassed of my companies past, i am excited about the future.

i have decided i want my next car to be a nissan xterra, now i just have to find out which one exactly.

this weekend was fun. saturday was a bbq at dads where i found out jeff and jolene are moving to st lou and are having a freaking baby! then i went dancing all night, which is probably the first time since 7th grade that i went out just to dance (sans prom). it was a blast. ran into rach, whom i havent seen in a criminally long time, she is so skinny! its crazy. she looks so youthful and happy.

then today i went to laumier park and soaked up the fresh air and good company. then i played ping pong and painted carrie and niks basement a bit. great weekend all in all.

cant think of any interesting stories for now, but if i do, ill come back. miss you all!

social bug

i have been bitten by the social bug. its wonderful. over the past 3 weeks or so i have been going out like crazy and i cant even keep track of the nights. so if i repeat a story, i apologize. one weekend, i actually stayed on 4 different couches in 4 nights. great fun.

so one weekend i went to a bon fire at the dollarhides, and saw the cottage of my dreams. then that sunday i went and played bingo at Pi. it was very interesting because the number caller was dressed in drag. this was a very weird experience bc i thought i was going to just play bingo, but really he.....i mean she, would take a 15 minute break between each game to "dance" (walk around the room in high heels flirting with guys) and "sing" (lip sink to songs like big girls dont cry). after this, me abby and my new friend tucker went to the house she was sitting and drank lots of wine and smoked alot and played music. the reason i want to remember this night is bc we spoke in english accents the whole time and it reminded me of wonderful nights in london. they called me gerzshery all night and it quickly became my favorite nickname of all time. i was late to work the next day, but it was worth it.

ive been spending time with tons of new and cool people like abby and tucker, slade, the journey girls (emily, janessa, dena, cher, and ashley), work people like spanish and brad, and old friends like katie and and kevin. its been great. i love new seasons like this.

so heres a couple more quick stories about my night life:

one night there was a victor wooten concert at the pageant. dont ask me who invited me or how i knew about it or why i came to the loop because i honestly dont remember. but i do remember seeing emily at the front door when i tried to just waltz in. the lady at the door said the boxoffice was closed so i couldnt enter (which was lame of her, bc the concert was half over anyways). im terrible at taking no for an answer, so i asked emily for her ticket. she said she didnt feel comfortable doing that. somehow she ended up handing it over... so i went to the other door. the guy at this door, luckily, looked very much like drugs had fried all of his useful brain cells. his jaw was slacked open and he was hunched there gazing at me. i handed him the ticket and he said, this has already been swiped, where is your stamp? (i didnt know you needed a stamp on your hand) so i just stood there and raised my eyebrows and lifted my shoulders as if to say, i dunno where it escaped to. he looked at me for a few seconds and then just stamped my hand...hahaha. then my cousin walked by, and i said AMANDA! and looked at the burnout gate keeper and said, hey that's my cousin! as if he cared. then in my moronic state of excitement i asked amanda, what are you doing here? she said, i love victor wooten, what are you doing here? and i responded, I just got here!
...i immediately looked back at the door keeper realizing what i just said. he started stuttering something and so i turned quickly and entered the venue. it was awesome. ireally hope this blog isnt incriminating evidence.

cut to a week later, i went to see the journey girls again for emily's bday extravaganza. they were at a concert at the pageant. so i went to the loop to wait for them to get out. but at the midpoint of the concert they came outside to say hi to me, and they came out so full of energy. they all hugged me, and dena called me a ray of sunshine or something ridiculously nice like that, and they were talking about how fun it was dancing in there....so of course, i began thinking about the week previous. i tell them i want to go in. and i cant remember if it was my idea or dena's, but dena licked her hand and we pushed our hands together to get the stamp to rub off. it didnt really work, but it showed enough stamp to where i felt it would.

so one of them gave me their ticket and i walked up and looked at my hand and said, 'aw man, dang, my stamp mustve washed off in the bathroom' or something and the new door person said, 'no problem at all, hey Johnny give him a new stamp!' then i was in like flin!

after the concert i danced some more. the journey girls all jumped into my dad's van and we headed to maplewood. there, we met up with a bunch of other cool people. at this place called cusamanos, and we all danced goofy and it was great times. i met a few more new people, such as a gal from work, april and her home schooled friend jess.

im tired now, so this post ends here. at work, i ended in the top 20 for march. and am presently in the top 10 for april! (out of 200+) my boss reprimands me alot for showing up late on saturdays, but he also said that if i keep working hard, i will get promoted quickly, because 3 managers have asked about me already!