selling my lovely lady Lucille

I sold my car today. I tried last night. It was a long stupid ordeal, and i wrote about it after both showdowns with the imbeciles:

Tonight was brutal. I got five calls for my car, and decided to take the one from the ‘charity,’ because that sounded nice and trustworthy. Couldn’t have been more wrong. It was the shadiest experience I’ve had in years. First I call the charity three times from noon to three and they say they’ll call me back to send someone over. Finally he says he will send someone to look at the car at 5. I wait. I call. He strings me along. At 7ish this joker finally comes. He is in an old beat up BMW and is a greased up mechanic. He first wants a test run so I offer to drive. He gets in the driver seat, and drives it down the street and back with me. I say, “It needs repairs, but it runs impressively well.” He says, “What you say,” in a broken Spanglish manner. I sarcastically say, “It runs well,” like I am speaking to an old man (bare in mind I didn’t sleep the night before). He says, “Eh, what?” again. I can’t believe he actually didn’t just understand the sentence “It runs well.” “Nothing,” I say.

We get out and he looks under the hood. I tell him everything that is wrong on a written list, he points at things that I just told him and vaguely expresses that it needs to be fixed, never actually saying any car part or term. I agree with his mumbling impatiently.

Finally, he says he will give me $400. I say $800. He speaks gibberish until I am annoyed and I say all right $700 and I won’t go lower. He calls his boss. They talk and offer me $500, then $600. I refuse. He hands me the phone with his boss on the line, and the boss says $600? I say, “Sir, you know my price by now. I am sorry for wasting your time. Goodnight.”

Then the mechanic guy rambles about how he should get $20 for coming to look at the car…what?! No, I am done I tell him. He says, $650. I say $675 and that is it! He says okay. Yes! A deal.

Then he says something mumbled about my signing the papers and he will give me a $100 deposit to meet tomorrow for the rest of the money. I say I will sign paper, but not a legal document because then he would own the car. He acts like an idiot and agrees. Then he gives me $90. I tell him he just handed me $90. He says “no, no, that’s one hundred, we’re straight.” I count his bills like he is a five year old back at him. Very loudly and slowly I count them…20. 40. 60. 80. 90. We stare at each other blankly for like ten seconds. He says, no no, this hundred. I give it to him, and say what kind of charity is this. He says ‘charity?’ My eyes open wide and I ask, ‘who do you work for?’ He says, ‘only my boss. Me and my boss.’ I say what about the charity? He says oh this? And shows me the supposed charity entitled “Functional Social Solutions Inc. ” and says oh yes, I work for them. I shake my head. This is so shady. I should have known this was a scam from the name of the place.

He hands me the 100 and I get distracted. I sign a piece of paper and write something vague about how if we don’t meet by eleven tomorrow the deal is off. He asks for the keys. I say ‘Are you kidding me?’ He says, ‘Then give me the papers.’ I say ‘here is your money, goodnight.’ And he quickly says, oh no no no. Take the money. Let me call my boss. I take his money and say goodnight.

He was a stupid filthy scammer and hopefully won’t come back tomorrow and I will keep his filthy money.

To put salt on the wound, two people called after this encounter and offered to buy the car for $800 cash tonight and they were the first ones to call who spoke English. I had to refuse… feeling bound by my word to a scoundrel. Worse night in a while. I still can’t sleep now.

I realized late in the night that the stupid thing I wrote out meant absolutely nothing. It didn’t have the car’s name on it at all and wasn’t even full sentences. So I tried to get a hold of the other two buyers after Tom and Mom assured me that I was in no way legally bound. Sadly, neither of the two buyers had their phones on. That seemed shady as well.


Day Two

Well I did fall asleep, and woke up at 9 in the morning to prepare for selling my car. I was pretty resolute after wasting an entire day by being pushed around. Today I was going to be a businessman.

Mom helped me find the only other necessary paperwork aside from the Title, which is the Bill of Sale form. I went to the library and printed it out from the dmv site.

Then I got home and soon “Mike,” the “boss” from the “charity” called and said his guys were waiting outside…an hour after he told me they were almost there. I came out and it was the same dumb mechanic and then another guy, who also spoke broken English, but was very nice. After yesterday though, I was in no mood to feel vulnerable again, so I just got right to it.

I pulled out the Bill of Sale, which I had filled out before they arrived, and said all right you sign this first. The little mechanic stared at me confused. He said, “Oh yes, do you want to sign this?” and showed me some official looking paper that said something about tax exemption or write offs or something. I said, “Listen, last night was very shady and I don’t want to be involved with this charity anymore. Let’s just do this legally.” The mechanic stared confused, and then said “So you give us the title then?” I asked for the money. He gave me the right amount this time and I said, “Hey, you learned how to count last night huh?” His friend laughed. Him, not so much.

Then I said, “I have the title, you will sign it after you sign this.” He said, “no no no no. I don’t sign.” I said, “You are kidding me. Then forget it.” He said, “wait wait wait…I will call.” He calls Mike and speaks Spanish. Then he gets off the phone and says, “Okay I will sign FCC.” What?!

I say, “That doesn’t make any sense at all. I hate to bully you around but I will need a name and I need to see your license as well.” He looked like I just told the cops he was an illegal alien. Then his nice friend said, “You are okay, that’s okay. That’s right.” So the mechanic, not the other guy, pulled out his ID, which was most likely expired, but it looked like him and it said Pedro Munoz. He proceeded to sign the BOS as such. This is the only thing I could see that I could have been taken for. He could have forged the Title under a fake ID (It was Arizona). What would happen then, I wonder?

Anyways, I pulled out the title and read it one more time and had him sign it. Then I went to take off the license plates. The mechanic said, “no no no, we need those.” I said, “These are my plates, they are legally under my name, and I am taking them. You need to go to the DMV and get a temporary plate. I hate to bully you (I said that a few times throughout). The mechanic just said, “no no.”

I shook the nice guys hand and the mechanic just walked away mumbling something about me being a “mother fucker.” I walk in my apartment.

Five minutes later Mike calls and says, “Arthur, you have to give them the plates.” He was angry and loud. He said, “In the State of California you have to give over your plates.” I said, “Well, I’m not sure about that sir. In Missouri that just doesn’t happen.” He insisted and said they would give me a receipt and send the plates back to Missouri via the DMV or some BS. I said, “Well, I didn’t know about that, but I will look it up and call you right back.” He said, “Well hurry up now Arthur, my boys have been waiting long enough for this crap.”

I called mom for advice and she suggested calling a dealership. I got a hold of Ford and the lady said, “Oh you definitely give them your plates if you are selling them the car. Just to double check, I will connect you with Nancy so she can verify. I walk outside with the plates as I am on hold. I say I am sorry to them and hand them the plates. He puts on the back one and throws the other in the passenger seat.

They are heading to get in the car as I remember that I didn’t get a receipt. I turned and said, “Wait.” And Nancy got on the line. I said, “Hello Nancy, do you know my situation?” as the guys looked at me to say something to them. She said “Yes. You definitely do NOT give them your plates, whether you are at a dealer or privately selling. You keep those and exchange them in Missouri.”

My eyes widened. Wow that was close. Knowledge is power.

I thanked Nancy and walked to the passenger seat and took one plate. I said I was keeping them. And I looked at the plate on the car, hoping they didn’t just drive away before I got it off. I felt in my pockets hoping I had something. I pulled out a penny! Awesome. I bent down and started unscrewing the plate with the penny. Then ole Pedro hands me the phone with an irate Mike.


“Arthur?”
“Hey Mike.”
“Arthur?!”
…
“Arthur?”
“Still here Mike, what do you need?”
“Arthur? Hey! You can’t do this to me! You can’t do this after you’ve signed the title. How can we drive that car now?!”
“Sir. The legal way to do it is to get a temporary license from the DMV.”
“Arthur, I’ve been doing this for years! How are we supposed to drive that car around now? The DMV is closed!”
“Sir. You have been doing this illegally for years then. You should have…”
“What am I suppose to do now!”
“Sir, you should…”
“Huh, tell me what am I suppose to do now?”
“Sir. I’m telling you but you keep yelling. Can you stop?” (Very condescendingly)
“Yes. What?”
“Monday, the DMV opens again, you can…”
“Oh forget it! I hate the way you do business, you know that Arthur?”
“Well, to be perfectly honest sir, I LOATHE the way you do business.”
“What?”
“Loathe. Is that too big of a word for you sir?”
“I…you don’t even know what that means!”
“Alright.”

I hand the phone back, with the plates in my hand. I shake the nice guys hand, and he apologizes and agrees that I did the right thing. Then I sit and watch as my baby, my first love, my little lady Lucille drives away in the hands of evil, terrible men. A bittersweet moment for sure. She taught me one final lesson before we parted, and I will not soon forget her.

observations, sickness

dom came in town again yesterday and we got little caesars and watched walle again. then zack and me both started sneezing and feeling crappy. ive been blowing my nose nonstop for the past 24 hours. sucky.

right now i am locked up in my room with a great cup of hot tea and the best fugi apple ever made. i am listening to miles davis and am about to read 'human universals.' but i didnt know what universals meant so i went to look it up and promptly got distracted.

kelly met annie lebowitz tonight. so thats cool.

also, i went to the observatory. i have been wanting to do this since i got here and finally dragged my butt up there. i really shouldve waited til i was feeling better so i couldve gone on the hiking trails, but i only have 12 days left here so time seems precious.
i really only went to the observatory bc i am a huge fan of 'rebel without a cause' and thats the climax scene locale. i really enjoyed looking at everything and relearning a bunch of astronomy facts and whatnots. i was surprised when i got to a timeline of the universe. they stated the bigbang theory as fact. no theory behind it. this has me really curious about carbon dating and whether or not the bbt could coexist with creationism. i am interested in thoughts if u wanna share. if not, that seems pretty bold of whomever owns the observatory to just throw that on an exhibit.

anyways, tomorrow i am going to try and set up interviews for chicago and will be going to dollar bowling night one last time. tonight i will probably make a schedule for my last days here to sell possessions, say goodbyes, prepare for the new season, and have fun!