priorities, moving on, DJing

deck! how was cali? hows the new house? im pumped for you and miss you terribly man. i appreciated your priorities list. i asked a few people and you were the only one who responded. i still am working on mine but i know that creating music and spending as much quality time with people i love are probably the top two in my life right now. obviously i dont want it to be that way. i want God to be there in the number one spot....but im just being honest. im finding i operate the best when im striving for honesty not perfection.

i do really like those things you strive for deck, and it confirmed why i respect you more than most anyone ive ever or ever will meet. those are pretty much words to live a life by "be a humble man of faith, who loves his wife genuinely, raises children of strong character and gives more than i take." mm mm mmmm right now i guess the goal is to be a humble man of faith who loves himself and those around him genuinely and gives more than i take.

i am at a little bit of a loss right now. i love that i am self aware enough to know my priorities are out of wack, but frightened i will never remember how to be alone with God on a regular basis. frightened that i am starting to become ok with not understanding so many things about life. for instance, my bro in law tried having a convo with me about politics during a long car ride. and i just went mute. i didnt care and i didnt want to care. i dont understand governments and i dont see what good it would do even if i did. so have i just gotten mentally lazy? yep. i think thats it. this is the most introspective ive been in months! haha

i just read someone elses blog and it encouraged me to instrospect again....fyi


lifes been good. dont know if i mentioned this, but i saw this terrific movie called 500 days of summer and it really struck a chord with me. its basically about a failed romance and it helped show me other people have felt the pain i have, and it gave me great comfort and hope for the future. breaking up is the suckiest experience, and i certainly hope i dont have to endure that many more times in my life. cant even imagine divorce.

but anyways...

the real reason im even signing onto my blog tonight is because i finally had a blog worthy occurrence! friday night i experienced a first. something i didnt even think i would have the opportunity to do, so i didnt even bother putting it on a 'to do before i die list'. but now i can AND cross it off.

ok, enough preface... i was a DJ!

i got off work on friday at 730. and was planning on having a long shower and taking it easy (either chilling with charles or just going right to bed bc i was pretty sick all day) then i got a text at 8pm from my good friend Doug, who is the DJ mastermind behind a couple dance parties in st louis. the text read "hey totally random....but think you'd be down for djing tonight @ 80s club? i can give you a crash course/$80 and tips. Lmk?"

i couldnt believe it. i still cant. what a cool opportunity. so i said what time?

i got there about 10 and he showed me the way it works. split screen with one song thats playing and one in cue. i just had to pick an 80s tune drag it to the cue, check the levels to make sure it wasnt too loud or quiet, and then fade from one song to the next. it was pretty easy, but very intimidating and nerve racking. definitely the time of your life, dont get me wrong, but scary knowing the party rests upon your fingertips.

many many cute girls requesting silly songs. im still working on appreciating 80s music, but i am pretty much a convert after that night. i hate all the good lookin girls distracting me in life btw. its just knowing that right now everyone is a potential future. i dont like it. its overwhelming. i wish girls had to wear badges or something that explained what was really going on behind the pretty face. like "clingy" or "drama queen" or "petty" this way you wouldnt even have to waste time thinking hmmm im super nervous about talking to her bc u could simply find out the crazy before wasting any time. ...if im honest, im probably still too damaged to even be thinking about girls at all...yeah, im tired of thinking about the future. forget this paragraph. im just keeping my eye on what today brings for now (okay, technically tomorrow, since its 1am, but you know what i mean).

also some guy tipped me 10 to play thriller! haha

and finally, im reading travels with charley at work. falling in love with steinbeck all over again. and i had a convo with an old fam friend yesterday about writing and realized i have alot of new life material. so i need to get back on the writing horse! thats an exciting thought if i can get some discipline and remember how to use my brain.

all in time.