2014. The year that felt like nothing happened, but in actuality a shit ton happened. Or is that every year?
Starting off this year in review I'd like to discuss:
GROWING UP
In a way, I feel like I've become an adult this year. This seems to be the theme of my recap. It's a nice feeling. A foreign feeling. A small feeling that for the first time in my life I see the appeal of adulthood, and how ephemeral being a kid really is. I still remember thinking the opposite as a kid. Thinking that childhood was the only time period of any real merit or value, and that adults were simply our servants and just kind of waiting to die (I mean, I didn't have that exact thought, but that was the nature of my selfishness).
First, I am finally starting to see the importance of trying to let go of old grudges (I think I enjoyed holding onto them a bit too much before). The people who committed these 'offenses' aren't even the same people who offended me anymore. Everyone is evolving, and although the majority of douches are going to continue being douches, I owe it to myself to give some people the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to improve.
I know I am trying. This year was definitely a year of making a concentrated effort to think less like a child and more like a responsible, maybe even impressive, citizen. Obviously, I am never going to give up my childlike ways of loving adventure and mischief (see this article in the rft which may or may not have been me:
http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/dailyrft/2014/12/we_dont_see_nothing_wrong_with_this_altered_construction_sign.php).
However, I have tried to be less emotional in my decision making (which is kind of impossible, but I am trying OK! I'm very emotional! I CANT HELP ITTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! arrrrrrrghhhhhh).
Ahem.
Anyways, having a steady career has done wonders for my growing up. For my self worth, happiness, and sense of duty. I have been learning so much over the past year and a half. Handling the stress of the trauma/surg floor has crossed over into my life and made me better at handling all situations. I still have a long way to go, but I'm seeing improvements. I wish I had time to tell all of the stories...
The good nights when I have patients cry and tell me how much they appreciate my care (my 3rd month as a nurse I won the floor award for patient recommendations, and once a family member bought me crab rangoons and I almost cried I was so happy), when I push someone to do something and they thank me (the time I had a 7'2" patient who didn't want to get out of bed, and I helped him up and he was so happy), when I get IVs in a difficult vein (that one milestone night when I put in two Ivs back to back without having to ask anyone else for help), when I call docs with suggestions and they agree with my assessments (the night I got a patient who was already septic, and I got orders for antibiotics, pain meds, and fluid bolus' all while calming his overly dramatic family down and putting in an extra IV, and then shipping him off to the ICU for closer monitoring. Oh yeah, and my second cousin was the doctor on the case), when I bring down temperatures and heart rates and blood pressures (it is such a good feeling to see the medications and the care I give actually work right before my eyes), when I get to see my patients get better and leave. The bad nights when I have to call a MET team (or two), when my patient has to go to the ICU, when I have to ask someone else to do turn team for me because I'm too behind on meds, when I can't seem to get any IVs in, when a patient I've been breaking my back for all night complains about something trivial that isn't in my control and I just want to scream.
Man. Nursing was an unexpected path for me, but it has turned out to be the most rewarding decision I've ever made. It is surprising how many good aspects of myself it is awakening and bringing to the surface (as a person who is known in some circles as being the "late one," I haven't had an absence or tardy in 5 years at Mercy). I was almost a shell of a person before nursing. I was timid. I was half awake much of the time. As weird as it sounds, I think becoming a nurse has made me into a man. Hah. That's a sentence you don't read every day!
...Aside from work, I am also trying to take better care of my body. I am currently giving smoking cessation a go, and I joined a gym for the winter to bulk up my muscles. I also bought my first suit, which makes me feel very adult at events like weddings. So compared to last year, I am in a much better place both physically, emotionally, and mentally (and yes, even sartorially).
This next section will be entitled...
TRAVEL!
This year was really the first year in maybe 3 or 4 years that I am exiting the year feeling satisfied with how I spent my time. I made the most of it. I traveled a lot!!!! Which is something I looooonged for during nursing school.
I went to:
1.Wisconsin, to snowboard with my dad, Spending a weekend with my dad turned out to be one of the best decisions of the year. We are starting to bond more than ever and I actually get the feeling like he likes my company as a person and not just a son.
2. New Orleans, because I had never been. Aubrey went with me and she showed me her old stomping grounds. We sang music under the tree of life. We put an X on the stone of miss levaou just like our song says. We had po' boys. I went on a ghost tour. We had a drink at the oldest bar in USA (maybe?). We busked for $5! We had beignets. But the highlight was just the road trip, singing weezer songs with Aubrey and catching up on life.
3.Kansas, to visit Carrie and the boys. It's so great to see them all happy and in a good place, but holy damn. I miss them at least once a week. The weight of my miss list is starting to make every single day a sort of nostalgic haze, going in and out of present reality and a longing for the people who make it worth being awake. Aubrey actually pointed out to me this year (during our road trip) that I am one of the most nostalgic people she knows. I can't decide if that's good or bad, maybe a bit of both.
4.Tennessee, to visit the Thomas's. My mom's sister's family. They are some of my favorite people on the planet as well. I went to my cousin Erika's wedding. She got hitched to a f**king awesome dude. Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a harsh judge when it comes to first impressions, and this guy Jarred just won me over immediately. Makes me pumped he is part of our family. And it makes me happy to see my cousin happy.
5. Oklahoma, to visit Dan. I was able to see his new house and his new innovations in construction. He is essentially doubling the square feet of a house he bought by turning the attic into more floor space. He also introduced me to the Starbucks golden ticket. I also got to feel the baby kickin' in Brie's belly just weeks before August was born. Also, we watched this show called 'Impractical Jokers,' and while we were out at a garage sale we reenacted some of the scenes (putting our noses on strangers).
6. Florida, for a much needed true blue vacation after the longest winter of my life. Nothing baaaad really happened over the winter, but it was by far the loneliest I've ever felt in my whole life. It was lonely. And it was so fucking cold. It was like Chicago cold. And did I mention lonely? Yeah, 2012/13 was the year of dating and loving being single. 2013/14 was the year of realizing I actually hate being single, and want a family. This winter helped me to be more willing to give up my bachelor life (staying with the theme of growing up). Anyways, Florida! We rented a 3 story house off the beach for a week. We just played games, went to the beach, and chilled out. I would recommend this to anyone and everyone. I hope one day, once Dan and Jon's family's are more established and maybe if I ever get one, that we can all rent a house together for a week like that.
Another cool thing that happened in Florida. My mom brought a video camera and recorded the whole thing. Everyone was annoyed. "Put down the camera!" "Don't film me!" That kind of thing. Buuuuuut when we got home I found a video editing program and made all her clips into a 30 min movie, with songs and captions! Thus a new passion for video editing was born. I've been editing like crazy ever since.
7. Illinois, to visit Mark and Megan and Aubrey. Three of the most impressive humans I know. I always feel a little intimidated by them all, and I think I always want to be hanging out with people that are probably too cool for me. That's my goal, anyway.
8. And finally California, for a combined birthday adventure and Zack visit. I really wanted to see him (I am admittedly shit when it comes to keeping in touch via phone. I need face to face). Also, I turned 30 this october and it was a big deal so I wanted to remember it with a travel story. This decade marker hit me kinda hard emotionally/mentally. I thought it was just the big 3.0. that was making me feel introspective and heavy, but my dad says that every decade b-day has been that way. He said even when I turned 10 I just kept saying things to the effect of "Wow, double digits, I'm really old now." Hahah. But seriously. I am. I am old now. My whole life I've thought of anyone 30 and over is just old. Once you hit 30 you cease relevancy. God...does anyone else think like this?? I sure hope not. I feel like my brain is just starting to function properly, and now more than ever I have the opportunity to become relevant. Or at least useful to society.
These tangents!
So yeah, California was quite an experience. It was the first time I did a big travel adventure without a travel companion. So in ways it was wonderful, and in ways it was just dreadful. I flew into Cali and had a rough welcoming. It's not worth getting into, but I had to deal with shady taxi cabs and then Zack was in a great deal of pain so we couldn't really go out to celebrate my b-day.
Luckily, we had a wonderful time just hanging at his apartment drinking, smoking, and playing music. That's all I really wanted from my time with him anyway (although I did wish I could have gone to the beach). Then I rented a car and drove up highway 1 to San Fran. Again, this was such a bittersweet experience. It was amazing because I was able to see a city I had never seen before! The golden gate bridge (shouldn't it be gold?), the painted ladies, Alcatraz, the redwoods, etc! However, once again, my host was not fully available. I was staying with a friend of a friend. I could tell she was a lovely and intensely interesting person, yet she seemed like she was miles away in her head. She was all work. Although, in her defense I will say she took me to this amazing restaurant called Leopold's (I think). I don't like German food usually, but this place! If you go to San Fran, go there. You're welcome.
So that was a little bit about my travels. What else happened?
Well on the home front, after the longest winter, I decided I needed to move or find a roommate. The very same week I made this decision, an acquaintance texted (is texted a word?) me asking if I knew of anyone in need of a roomie. Sooooo that was very fortuitous! Hannah came over and loved the place and she has been my room mate ever since. I called her my roommate, but her dad says she is technically my flat mate, since we don't literally share a room. (Speaking of 'literally,' Hannah misuses the word 'literally' more than anyone I've ever met (again, with the tangents! Argh)) It hasn't even been a year, but so far it has been great! She has helped me learn how to live with a woman and she has helped keep me sane. She even brought a beautiful dog named Harvey into my life. We have had a few parties. We had a whiskey night and a game night. We've had some movie nights at home gossiping about our latest date fails (like the time I had a date stolen by a middle aged biking bird watcher, or the time my car died on a first date, or the time a bike cop told me to stop making out in the street) We purchased a big white board calendar to set goals for ourselves. I put a black X on days when I don't smoke. I put a blue X when I do sit ups that day. At the end of the month if we reach our personal goals we go have a steak night. Steak nights are the best! A quality flat mate is the best!
Ah yes, artistic endeavors of 2014.
I guess we will call this small section:
CREATING
Well, I mentioned the film editing. I also gave painting a go during the longest winter. My first painting attempt was set by the trashcan in anger. Luckily my good friend Peggy saw it and said she liked it so much that she wanted it, and ended up hanging it on her living room wall : D That was very encouraging and convinced me to keep trying.
The bands both finally completed recording for their respective albums. I expect them both to be out by 2018. I've already moved on emotionally and mentally though. I have another 10 songs I am ready to begin recording. Looking forward to 2015! We had a couple interesting gigs this year...We were paid $1000 to play a private event in the basement of Vin de Set. 3 sets over 2 hours. It was a unique show. Charlie even sang a song! Very cool. We also played an outdoor show at an Alive magazine event on Washington avenue. A drunk guy asked to play with us. And then there was the gig at the prestigious Sheldon concert hall. What an honor and a treat. The sound guy told us we could play there again anytime we wanted.
Any other great stories to remember Greg?
MISC. STORIES
The birth of NORA!!! My sister gave me my first niece. She was born on Carrie's b-day, just 1 hour shy of being a premee. Me and Char roadtripped to go see her.
Loufest! Holly got me a free ticket and we spent the whole weekend together sneaking flasks in our underwear and getting super drunk. And also the black keys show when she got so drunk that she threw up on my shoe and I had to carry her back 4 blocks to the car. Aaaaand the Arcade fire show with Aubrey, when we snuck down to the front and danced under the confetti!
Oh I want to remember that on one particular very good date, I was watching a meteor shower and I saw one that was so close I truly saw a tail of fire following behind it. It was magical and I've never heard anyone else say they've seen that.
The year of HIMYM. I will always associate that show with this time period of relating to Ted.
I also want to remember that one meal at Pi's pizza when we first went out with Sarah. That was a great night.
And going over to Katie's house after Botanical Gardens (Bo Gards) for a little dance party. Oh! And making out in the hammock. That was a much needed moment in my life.
And that night with the tornado warnings at work where we took the patients all out into the hall two times in an hour.
Obviously, Ferguson. While there is so much to be said here, I will just leave it to a couple things I learned. I finally understood white privilege. I don't feel guilty, I feel thankful. I have not recognized how fucking lucky I am to be white and male until now. Though I do think it's extremely sad that white privilege is truly a thing. I also realized that you can be accidentally racist, and that a lot of people I know are racist. That there are ugly parts in beautiful people. And that there are ugly parts in myself that I need to deal with (trying to learn not to be so reactionary when people say ignorant things...again, GREG, stop being so emotional!!!!). This brings to mind the sage advise from Deck about the ying and the yang of people. So effing good.
The scary night when Katelyn had a car wreck and she was shaking and crying. And I had to leave my heavy team of patients to go cry at her bedside.
GODDAYUM. It really pays to take a couple hours to sit and reflect. A lot happened this year. A lot of great stories. A lot of great people in my life. It goes so fast that I don't realize just how much happens in a short year. I think the addition of a smart phone and netflix in my life has been a bit cancerous. I am in this perpetual state of feeling that I am missing out. That I must keep my hands busy. That I need to be making my nights epic and noteworthy. When after reflecting in this blog, if anything, I probably need to spend a few more nights in 2015 just sitting at home quiet and in thought.
So 2015. My hopes for you?
I hope that you are just as epic as 2014. I hope I keep traveling. I hope I keep creating. I hope I keep growing. I hope I keep being too nostalgic. But I hope that I spend more time appreciating the good moments and people right in front of me too.
I hope that I find someone to share those good moments with (I think this has been my hope for the last 4 years, which is discouraging, but I will not give up). I realized the other night exactly what it is I miss about my friends. When I had Zack and Dan and Michael and Jon (and Kelly) in my life, the reason they were so wonderful was this one important thing. When we hung out, it didn't matter what we did. It mattered that we were together doing it. And that's what made every night with them seem important to me. Even sitting on the porch doing homework felt 'epic' with Dan and Jon. Nowadays I am completely surrounded with people who only want to hang out if it's in their best interest, or if the fun factor is greatest for them. I find this to be the most infuriating thing about life/people. I've actually stopped hanging out with a lot of people because I feel like a 'friend accessory' to them. I don't know if this is a symptom of modern life or just adult life or both. I sure hope it is a modern life problem and not just a fact of life in adulthood. Because people should still be able to make time to truly be together.
Right now, as I see it, people kind of suck. Even the closest people in my life will not hang out with me the majority of the time because it's not advantageous. Or they just don't want to leave the house. ...this fact of life is just disheartening. People don't just MEET anymore. They must PLAN first. They need that promise of some time worthy endeavor. I loooooong for friends who want to meet first and then plan. That's when the good shit happens.
Anyways, that is my final hope. I finally find people who just want to be in on the adventure no matter where it leads. People who just want to be with me. If anything 2014 has showed me that I have worth and I believe that I am worthy of love and time. So I will keep hope alive that I will find those of like heart and mind. 2015 is the year hope does not die. And 2014, thanks for teaching me so much. ...I'll miss you so much : )
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
2013 in review :0
Today I was struck with a strong desire to do a year in review, to try and remember some of the highlights that I will inevitably forget. When I logged on, I realized I didn't do a year in review for 2013!!! SO. I will probably forget a great deal of the important things, but I need to try. So here it is, 2013 in review, belated! This is mostly for my own sake, so sorry if this reads super boring.
In 2013 I graduated nursing school. This is most likely why I never blogged again. Nursing school was one of the most energy draining/rewarding experiences I will ever have. It is a marathon. It is financially stressful. It is a social sacrifice. It is a bonding time. It is a test of patience.
From nursing school, what I remember a year and a half later, and what I want to keep remembering, is the people. Bethany, Jeff, Erin, and Lara. Those were my 4 closest companions. The whole crew was amazing, but these 4 were rocks who never stopped encouraging. I don't want to forget Erin helping me with our lab presentations. I don't want to forget Bethany's study dates at Kaldis. I don't want to forget the celebration the night before graduation with Lara! I don't want to forget that I graduated MAGNA CUM LAUDE, even while working at Mercy and keeping 2 bands going.
And then there is passing boards. While I want to remember this because it was a defining moment and a personal highlight of perseverance, I kind of wish I could forget the feelings of stress. I still remember that day a year and a half later. It took me 5 HOURS, and 265 questions to pass.
The stress didn't end there! I jumped right into my first professional full time job (I mean, aside from that whole sales debacle). My boss brought me into his office and said, "Do you want to keep working here after you graduate?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Great, you've just been interviewed."
I hit the ground running. And then immediately tripped on my own feet. And then fell flat on my face. Working as a nurse on a trauma/surg floor is apparently extremely difficult! After my month of training my boss told me I wasn't ready. So he put me on the night shift. I'll be honest I was devastated at the time. All of my favorite people were on days. I was one of the few people to be offered a day position right out of school. I screwed up.
But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I ended up loving the night crew way more. I ended up learning so much (time management was and is my main struggle...when 5 people need 5 different things at the same time, it's tough!) Plus, I get paid more!
...what else?
Speedboats played some big shows. We opened for a ton of well known bands. The biggest highlight being, we got to perform UNDER THE ARCH! It was a jack daniels sponsored event, and I ended up getting the number of the prettiest jack daniels girl (and almost had a panic attack when I saw Kelly, but that's not important anymore). Arthur played one of the most fun shows when we performed at the Tower Grove farmers market. That was just such a great day playing music and then grabbing brunch at Russell's with Aubs and Charlie afterwards.
With nursing school in my rear view I decided to travel a little to celebrate. I went to NY for the first time. In NY I met up with the Thomas's (my cousins and aunt and uncle) and we did a ton of sight seeing. I went to the world trade center memorial, the NBC building (and SNL stage!), saw Lion King on broadway, Time's square, Macy's, and the Empire State building! We even did a little boat tour around the statue of liberty. Then I met up with my old friend Michael Becker and he showed me around the 'hip' district. He took me to a party at the famed Jane hotel. This was actually a miserable experience because everyone there looked down there nose at me and I just wanted to leave the whole time. But it should be noted it was a cool building, and happened to be the dock that the survivors of the Titanic were taken to. Then I met Chelsea and she showed me her NY world. This was amazing! She showed me Juilliard, she took me to Alice's bakery, walked around Central Park (and saw John Lennon's memorial), magnolia bakery on bleaker, either the met or the moma i cant remember now (but i saw a jackson pollack!) We rented bikes and went around Williamsburg.
The only sad thing that comes to mind from that year is the fact that my sister and brother in law(one of my few remaining close friends in stl) moved to KS.
I know I'm forgetting a lot, but this is all for now!
In 2013 I graduated nursing school. This is most likely why I never blogged again. Nursing school was one of the most energy draining/rewarding experiences I will ever have. It is a marathon. It is financially stressful. It is a social sacrifice. It is a bonding time. It is a test of patience.
From nursing school, what I remember a year and a half later, and what I want to keep remembering, is the people. Bethany, Jeff, Erin, and Lara. Those were my 4 closest companions. The whole crew was amazing, but these 4 were rocks who never stopped encouraging. I don't want to forget Erin helping me with our lab presentations. I don't want to forget Bethany's study dates at Kaldis. I don't want to forget the celebration the night before graduation with Lara! I don't want to forget that I graduated MAGNA CUM LAUDE, even while working at Mercy and keeping 2 bands going.
And then there is passing boards. While I want to remember this because it was a defining moment and a personal highlight of perseverance, I kind of wish I could forget the feelings of stress. I still remember that day a year and a half later. It took me 5 HOURS, and 265 questions to pass.
The stress didn't end there! I jumped right into my first professional full time job (I mean, aside from that whole sales debacle). My boss brought me into his office and said, "Do you want to keep working here after you graduate?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Great, you've just been interviewed."
I hit the ground running. And then immediately tripped on my own feet. And then fell flat on my face. Working as a nurse on a trauma/surg floor is apparently extremely difficult! After my month of training my boss told me I wasn't ready. So he put me on the night shift. I'll be honest I was devastated at the time. All of my favorite people were on days. I was one of the few people to be offered a day position right out of school. I screwed up.
But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I ended up loving the night crew way more. I ended up learning so much (time management was and is my main struggle...when 5 people need 5 different things at the same time, it's tough!) Plus, I get paid more!
...what else?
Speedboats played some big shows. We opened for a ton of well known bands. The biggest highlight being, we got to perform UNDER THE ARCH! It was a jack daniels sponsored event, and I ended up getting the number of the prettiest jack daniels girl (and almost had a panic attack when I saw Kelly, but that's not important anymore). Arthur played one of the most fun shows when we performed at the Tower Grove farmers market. That was just such a great day playing music and then grabbing brunch at Russell's with Aubs and Charlie afterwards.
With nursing school in my rear view I decided to travel a little to celebrate. I went to NY for the first time. In NY I met up with the Thomas's (my cousins and aunt and uncle) and we did a ton of sight seeing. I went to the world trade center memorial, the NBC building (and SNL stage!), saw Lion King on broadway, Time's square, Macy's, and the Empire State building! We even did a little boat tour around the statue of liberty. Then I met up with my old friend Michael Becker and he showed me around the 'hip' district. He took me to a party at the famed Jane hotel. This was actually a miserable experience because everyone there looked down there nose at me and I just wanted to leave the whole time. But it should be noted it was a cool building, and happened to be the dock that the survivors of the Titanic were taken to. Then I met Chelsea and she showed me her NY world. This was amazing! She showed me Juilliard, she took me to Alice's bakery, walked around Central Park (and saw John Lennon's memorial), magnolia bakery on bleaker, either the met or the moma i cant remember now (but i saw a jackson pollack!) We rented bikes and went around Williamsburg.
The only sad thing that comes to mind from that year is the fact that my sister and brother in law(one of my few remaining close friends in stl) moved to KS.
I know I'm forgetting a lot, but this is all for now!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Year in review 2012
the end of the year is here again so as usual i find myself reflective of the year past, and contemplative for the year ahead.
since school is on break i have time, so let's jot down some memories and highlights from 2012:
The good: Had a childhood dream realized when Nate invited me to play hockey with him on scott trade center ice! I scored goals with kelly chase and terry yake (former blues). definitely comforted me during the nhl strike. I joined another band (the breaks) and had a lot of fun writing songs for other people, and learning to perform as the sole lead singer. The first show at a new venue (voce) was tons of fun, and i found myself having one of my best vocal performances yet.
The band progressed wonderfully, even if no one really noticed but us. We released our cd, a dream come true! It made RFT's top 50 stl releases of the year. i don't really think that's saying much, but the fact that we were recognized is at least comforting. We also played at many new venues like plush and firebird and gramophone and had the honor of playing AUCW, as Simon and Garfunkel. I finally stopped throwing up before shows! We started recording the new album, and it is soooo fun!
Had some lucky opportunities to see some great concerts. i made up for a lack of quantity with super high quality. I saw radiohead, fiona apple, and paul mccartney. i hope to take all three memories to my grave, as they were all inspiring and unforgettable. I also saw Louie CK at the fox. it was my first time experiencing the awesomeness of that building, and i was laughing the whole time, so it was pretty great! Aaaand at the halloween party i saw nelly finally. it's only fitting since i live in st louis.
Also, after over a year of struggling to get the government to help me pay my student loans i was finally able to open the communication channels and i will be getting around 6k that i almost didn't get. and that is HUGE.
The bad: As aforementioned, i dealt with some sickness, and with some stress at school. I had the bat debacle happen...basically a bat snuck into my house multiple times and attacked me (crawling under doors to get to me even!) I was haunted at one point! I had my first car wreck which is a terrifying experience. And obviously i'm still trying to understand Tony's passing.
The ugly: ...Kevin's mom?
Random memories i dont wanna forget: After years of trying to get over past loves, i finally got back up on the horse this year. I went on a couple dates, and had some fun. And even more importantly, so did Charlie. One of the more memorable dates for me was going to art hill and painting the basin onto a canvas at dusk. I also had an amazingly weird float trip with char and chelsea. we climbed up a bluff off the river and came upon a bunch of creepy rusted out metal statues in the middle of the woods (one was a woman hugging a horse who had fallen on its back, while others looked like WWII bombs...i swear it!) I also made zack's bday video, which i plan on reprising every year..
More random memories: I want to remember dancing in jessie's kitchen, practicing our justin beiber slide glide. i want to remember finding old love letters in the ceiling of dad's basement and pouring over them in the summer twilight. i want to remember kevin moving in at gma's place, adding some new energy to my living situation. and him getting me shwasted on my bday. i want to remember kevins 30th, where we had a bouncy house in the front yard, bbq and darts and beer pong in the back, jam sessions downstairs, makeout sessions in the bedroom, and limos out front. i want to remember making 500 bucks at the singing competition at mercy hospital. and of course the euphoria of passing ATI exams, which can not really be explained or replicated.
I think i got all of the highlights.
Looking on to the next year, i find once again that what i want out of 2013 is to start working on lasting relationships. I want to reconnect with friends and family. i also want to travel. i hope to finish the album. i plan to move into my own place. i will most likely have to buy a new car.
But i just read over last years reflection and find it is still a burning desire for me to appreciate the present moment. be thankful for the people i DO have in my life. for the roof i DO have currently over my head. for the car i DO have now. for the success professionally and scholastically that i AM experiencing. I reallllly need to be more thankful and more driven to wake up each morning with purpose. If you read this all the way through then god bless you, let's go get coffee sometime, and talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly in your life. I love ya'll and i love life, and from the bottom of my heart i hope you love your life too.
since school is on break i have time, so let's jot down some memories and highlights from 2012:
The good: Had a childhood dream realized when Nate invited me to play hockey with him on scott trade center ice! I scored goals with kelly chase and terry yake (former blues). definitely comforted me during the nhl strike. I joined another band (the breaks) and had a lot of fun writing songs for other people, and learning to perform as the sole lead singer. The first show at a new venue (voce) was tons of fun, and i found myself having one of my best vocal performances yet.
The band progressed wonderfully, even if no one really noticed but us. We released our cd, a dream come true! It made RFT's top 50 stl releases of the year. i don't really think that's saying much, but the fact that we were recognized is at least comforting. We also played at many new venues like plush and firebird and gramophone and had the honor of playing AUCW, as Simon and Garfunkel. I finally stopped throwing up before shows! We started recording the new album, and it is soooo fun!
Had some lucky opportunities to see some great concerts. i made up for a lack of quantity with super high quality. I saw radiohead, fiona apple, and paul mccartney. i hope to take all three memories to my grave, as they were all inspiring and unforgettable. I also saw Louie CK at the fox. it was my first time experiencing the awesomeness of that building, and i was laughing the whole time, so it was pretty great! Aaaand at the halloween party i saw nelly finally. it's only fitting since i live in st louis.
Also, after over a year of struggling to get the government to help me pay my student loans i was finally able to open the communication channels and i will be getting around 6k that i almost didn't get. and that is HUGE.
The bad: As aforementioned, i dealt with some sickness, and with some stress at school. I had the bat debacle happen...basically a bat snuck into my house multiple times and attacked me (crawling under doors to get to me even!) I was haunted at one point! I had my first car wreck which is a terrifying experience. And obviously i'm still trying to understand Tony's passing.
The ugly: ...Kevin's mom?
Random memories i dont wanna forget: After years of trying to get over past loves, i finally got back up on the horse this year. I went on a couple dates, and had some fun. And even more importantly, so did Charlie. One of the more memorable dates for me was going to art hill and painting the basin onto a canvas at dusk. I also had an amazingly weird float trip with char and chelsea. we climbed up a bluff off the river and came upon a bunch of creepy rusted out metal statues in the middle of the woods (one was a woman hugging a horse who had fallen on its back, while others looked like WWII bombs...i swear it!) I also made zack's bday video, which i plan on reprising every year..
More random memories: I want to remember dancing in jessie's kitchen, practicing our justin beiber slide glide. i want to remember finding old love letters in the ceiling of dad's basement and pouring over them in the summer twilight. i want to remember kevin moving in at gma's place, adding some new energy to my living situation. and him getting me shwasted on my bday. i want to remember kevins 30th, where we had a bouncy house in the front yard, bbq and darts and beer pong in the back, jam sessions downstairs, makeout sessions in the bedroom, and limos out front. i want to remember making 500 bucks at the singing competition at mercy hospital. and of course the euphoria of passing ATI exams, which can not really be explained or replicated.
I think i got all of the highlights.
Looking on to the next year, i find once again that what i want out of 2013 is to start working on lasting relationships. I want to reconnect with friends and family. i also want to travel. i hope to finish the album. i plan to move into my own place. i will most likely have to buy a new car.
But i just read over last years reflection and find it is still a burning desire for me to appreciate the present moment. be thankful for the people i DO have in my life. for the roof i DO have currently over my head. for the car i DO have now. for the success professionally and scholastically that i AM experiencing. I reallllly need to be more thankful and more driven to wake up each morning with purpose. If you read this all the way through then god bless you, let's go get coffee sometime, and talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly in your life. I love ya'll and i love life, and from the bottom of my heart i hope you love your life too.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
summer on a string
as usual, i just am exploding with new happenings and i find myself with very little time to sit and write it all down. but i know im starting to forget great memories so i need to try and put some it on the ole blog, even tho i should be taking an online test, writing an email to my instructor, and eating supper right now. oh well...this very moment is just an example of my summer of hanging on by a string.
first lets tackle the band. we sound like a real band now. when we play it feels like being in a band! and oh man...what a big feeling. we added a drummer (good buddy chris), and for our last show we somehow convinced our friend sean to make us look even cooler by playing bass for us. we played at the firebird, which is a legit venue where touring bands come, and we knocked it out of the park! a reviewer for playbackstl was there since we were opening for a touring band and she said we were a pleasant surprise and wrote a flattering paragraph on us (http://www.playbackstl.com/concert-reviews/11592-the-mynabirds--070112)!
the show before that was a bit of a disaster though...the sound was just off the whole night and it made for awkward stage moments and frustrated stage communication with the soundguy. i'm only writing this to remember the ups and the downs....we decided to take the rest of the summer off because we want to record the second album which is exciting as hell. we think it will be called 'island of the lotus eaters' and it will be very themed with island imagery and thoughts on memory and longing.
at work i've started a new journey that is just making me all the more excited about my future in healthcare. i am in pca (patient care associate) training, which is basically nurses aid training. it has been full time, and i am barelyyyyy hanging on to my sanity juggling a band, school, and work. but it is so worth it! i bonded with my pca class a lot. the instructor said she's never seen a class bond so quickly, and also told someone else that we are her favorite class she's ever had.
the new job itself is making me just so happy about my current path. i am so happy i was a transporter and got to know the hospital and all it's people, but now i am happy to have a new color of scrubs and new responsibilities. i am slowly but surely starting to think maybe i can handle the role of RN.
in my first week i had 2 very memorable patients, but im not sure how in depth i am able to go in an online setting so i should probably not tell those stories here. one of them, i will say, had ulcers and sores on almost his entire body and handled the pain with such grace and humor that i found myself holding back tears while i talked to him. pain makes everything hazy and confusing and angry, and to see this guy smile and joke through tears was just...inspiring. it's an honor to care for people like that. ...i also bathed a 600 lb gentleman, and sat in on a minor surgical procedure they did in a patients room! quite a first week.
not too much misc. news. i had two weeks were i was having weird symptoms that kept me bed bound. since i live alone it was a scary 14 days. i had fevers, dizziness, pain in my groin that made it nearly unbearable to stand straight, a bruise like rash on my shins that hurt like someone had beaten me with a hockey stick, and a swelling ankle. all during FINALS! then like that, it just went away. i got to model for stl style again. found out my buddy dan is on tulsa's news station now as a correspondent. my nephews keep getting cuter and cooler. makes me want to have some kids.
school has been one of the most difficult things i've ever done. my life is: wake, go to work, make sure i've studied for this weeks test, write this weeks paper, prepare for this weeks medsurg clinical, plan and attend this weeks community clinical, practice guitar for a bit or go to practice, make sure the house is spotless in case there is a showing (mow lawn too), study a bit for end of semester ATI exams (3 of them), set up a meeting with financial aid lady, and with gov't lady who is suppose to help with tuition, and my clinical instructor (which unfortunately seems to be weekly events because no one else has their shit together), and if there is time i also like to eat and shower and pay bills. occasionally i have to deal with annoying things like check engine lights, but who doesn't. each day i wake at 6 and without fail i never turn off the lights until 1am at the earliest.
i am loving all my classes though. community may not be teaching me much about my future career, but it is teaching me a lot about humanity in general. we get the opportunity to help at homeless shelters, food pantries, and charity events. it is such a good thing to serve. whenever i am at the homeless shelter i just realize how blessed i am to have a roof over head, and money to go get food any time i please. not to mention i have people in my life who love me and are happy. i could very easily find myself penniless, homeless, and alone. but i am not. and it makes life seem rural good when you think about that.
needless to say there is not enough time for loved ones. which is frustrating because that was like my only goal for the new year. there is no time to give the truest quality of my friendship to those i care about. i am a work horse. i am not complaining, because i really am loving the feeling of holding onto life's horns and riding it like a bull. i just know it will be so nice once i can go on vacations again and spend time with people i care about and all that. 10 more months baby.
i will leave you with my favorite quote of the year by regina spektor. it sounds stupid until you think about it, and then it makes you want to enjoy the moment very much: "today we're younger than we're ever gonna be."
first lets tackle the band. we sound like a real band now. when we play it feels like being in a band! and oh man...what a big feeling. we added a drummer (good buddy chris), and for our last show we somehow convinced our friend sean to make us look even cooler by playing bass for us. we played at the firebird, which is a legit venue where touring bands come, and we knocked it out of the park! a reviewer for playbackstl was there since we were opening for a touring band and she said we were a pleasant surprise and wrote a flattering paragraph on us (http://www.playbackstl.com/concert-reviews/11592-the-mynabirds--070112)!
the show before that was a bit of a disaster though...the sound was just off the whole night and it made for awkward stage moments and frustrated stage communication with the soundguy. i'm only writing this to remember the ups and the downs....we decided to take the rest of the summer off because we want to record the second album which is exciting as hell. we think it will be called 'island of the lotus eaters' and it will be very themed with island imagery and thoughts on memory and longing.
at work i've started a new journey that is just making me all the more excited about my future in healthcare. i am in pca (patient care associate) training, which is basically nurses aid training. it has been full time, and i am barelyyyyy hanging on to my sanity juggling a band, school, and work. but it is so worth it! i bonded with my pca class a lot. the instructor said she's never seen a class bond so quickly, and also told someone else that we are her favorite class she's ever had.
the new job itself is making me just so happy about my current path. i am so happy i was a transporter and got to know the hospital and all it's people, but now i am happy to have a new color of scrubs and new responsibilities. i am slowly but surely starting to think maybe i can handle the role of RN.
in my first week i had 2 very memorable patients, but im not sure how in depth i am able to go in an online setting so i should probably not tell those stories here. one of them, i will say, had ulcers and sores on almost his entire body and handled the pain with such grace and humor that i found myself holding back tears while i talked to him. pain makes everything hazy and confusing and angry, and to see this guy smile and joke through tears was just...inspiring. it's an honor to care for people like that. ...i also bathed a 600 lb gentleman, and sat in on a minor surgical procedure they did in a patients room! quite a first week.
not too much misc. news. i had two weeks were i was having weird symptoms that kept me bed bound. since i live alone it was a scary 14 days. i had fevers, dizziness, pain in my groin that made it nearly unbearable to stand straight, a bruise like rash on my shins that hurt like someone had beaten me with a hockey stick, and a swelling ankle. all during FINALS! then like that, it just went away. i got to model for stl style again. found out my buddy dan is on tulsa's news station now as a correspondent. my nephews keep getting cuter and cooler. makes me want to have some kids.
school has been one of the most difficult things i've ever done. my life is: wake, go to work, make sure i've studied for this weeks test, write this weeks paper, prepare for this weeks medsurg clinical, plan and attend this weeks community clinical, practice guitar for a bit or go to practice, make sure the house is spotless in case there is a showing (mow lawn too), study a bit for end of semester ATI exams (3 of them), set up a meeting with financial aid lady, and with gov't lady who is suppose to help with tuition, and my clinical instructor (which unfortunately seems to be weekly events because no one else has their shit together), and if there is time i also like to eat and shower and pay bills. occasionally i have to deal with annoying things like check engine lights, but who doesn't. each day i wake at 6 and without fail i never turn off the lights until 1am at the earliest.
i am loving all my classes though. community may not be teaching me much about my future career, but it is teaching me a lot about humanity in general. we get the opportunity to help at homeless shelters, food pantries, and charity events. it is such a good thing to serve. whenever i am at the homeless shelter i just realize how blessed i am to have a roof over head, and money to go get food any time i please. not to mention i have people in my life who love me and are happy. i could very easily find myself penniless, homeless, and alone. but i am not. and it makes life seem rural good when you think about that.
needless to say there is not enough time for loved ones. which is frustrating because that was like my only goal for the new year. there is no time to give the truest quality of my friendship to those i care about. i am a work horse. i am not complaining, because i really am loving the feeling of holding onto life's horns and riding it like a bull. i just know it will be so nice once i can go on vacations again and spend time with people i care about and all that. 10 more months baby.
i will leave you with my favorite quote of the year by regina spektor. it sounds stupid until you think about it, and then it makes you want to enjoy the moment very much: "today we're younger than we're ever gonna be."
Thursday, February 16, 2012
looking back, looking forward, trying to be in the moment.
we move on at break neck speed to 2012!
man, it's already februrarury. i can never adjust to the fact that every single year seems to go by even faster than the previous year. i can't believe that essentially, i spent an entire year focusing on school and work. never thought that would be me. i'm certainly not complaining, it was a great year, but i just look back and feel like so much of my time shouldve been devoted to finding and cementing lasting relationships. i watched a tv show called 'how i met your mother' and they were discussing passing the 'porch test.' whether you could see yourself hanging out on your porch with your friend when youre an old geezer. these are the people i want to gift my time to from now on. seems obvious, but for some reason in the past 4 or so years i have just been enjoying meeting new people so much that i have hopped from group to group, and none of the groups have held onto me tight enough to keep me around. (again, im so grateful for all the people ive met, but i miss relationship depth)
ramblin!
anyways. 2011 afforded me the opportunity to do alot of great things. obviously i began nursing school, got two grants, and began playing gigs with my band. another pleasant surprise was that i got the chance to roommate with my brother. i guess i should recant a bit. in terms of family i really am happy with the way i made them a priority last year. i barely had free time, and when i could make it happen i would hang out with my nephews, evan and liam, who are hands down the cutest kids ever made. sorry every other person ever born! and i've had a blast over the last year realizing how much i care for my sister and brother in law. they are definitely porch worthy.
but anyways, yeah, i was just feeling pretty trapped in my mom's basement which is NOT an ego booster, and charlie offered to let me room with him for cheap. i jumped at the chance and we ended up having 6 great months. i've been pretty fortunate to room with a great majority of the favorite people in my life. there are defintely a few others who i would like to get to live with but having had the chance to live with carrie and nik, dan and jon, zack, (tom and mom) and now char...i just am really thankful for my living situations.
me and char had a great summer. we played music, we went running and biking, we had a twilight zone night most nights, we danced while doing dishes, we drank on the stoop with the neighbors (who got me through a really rough patch of time), we danced in the rain, we made unused music videos, and we even played a little floor hockey. i miss it already.
again, i feel i should recant my first paragraph a bit. while i need a small crew for my future porch, if i was able to have a st louis sized porch, i would keep everyone i know around. i have met some of the most sincere and beautiful souls these last couple years. i don't even have time to discuss all the funny and cool people i have met in school (jeff, erica, jenny, among others) and out on the town (dozens of people come to mind, you know who you are), but one of the more interesting groups was the improve anywhere crew. we started off just imagining some funny scenarios in 2010, and it blossomed into a group that was performing at shows and galleries, modeling for websites and retail shops, and even making the news! here's a sample of the modeling i got to do, hahah, that is just so funny to me...
http://stl-style.com/_product_62179/Cherokee_People
that's all of the exciting things, but there has been a few difficult moments for sure. my grandma's dementia condition finally got to the point where we had to move her into a safer facility. it has been a very difficult transition for all involved. my mom has sacrificed most of her free time finding a new place for gma, getting her settled, taking care of her, and preparing gma's possessions for sale. the patience and unconditional love my mom has in her is inspiring. that woman never stops teaching me! ...but yeah, i moved into gma's house while we clean it up. it has been a weird experience. i keep trying to be ready to say goodbye to this house, but every time i imagine leaving for good i get teary eyed. i love change, but i fucking hate change too. i wish we could move on and just freeze places and people so we could come back and visit when we feel lost. at least we have the technology of pictures i guess. but that's almost more sad than not being able to go back. there was just so many good memories at my gma's house... man im rambly today.
another happening has been nothing short of tragic. one of my favorite people in the world had to experience the passing of her husband, tony, who was one of the strongest and kindest men i've ever had the honor of meeting. i mean this wasnt just some nice guy. this guy was the definition of man. he was strong in every sense of the word. he was a marine, a climber, a drummer, and a cancer survivor. he was a writer, an engineer, an artist, a gentle and passionate husband, and even a poodle enthusiast. he kept his dignity while facing death, which seems to be the real test of character. the guy always made you feel like a million dollars (or whatever it is now with inflation). he ended up losing the battle with GVHD. i've seen it before with my mom's best friend. i will never understand why people die young. it makes everything a little more real. everything a little more finite and temporary. a little more precious. watching a man like tony succumb to death made me realize again that i need to wake up with more purpose. i need to be the best transporter i can be. i need to be the best brother/son/friend/lover i can be. i need to be the best student i can be. i just need to focus on living right now. i need to be grateful for every breath i get the pleasure of sucking in and pushing out. i need to be grateful for every smile, kiss, and conversation i get to experience. i want to hug everyone a little tighter and dig a little deeper into their lives. i want to savor every good sip of whiskey, every rainy day, every mind blowing melody, every warm blanket on a cold night with a little more conscious appreciation.
we are so. fucking. lucky. to be alive. is there a point to it all? is God pulling strings? will i be as healthy and happy and alive tomorrow? i can't say. but i do know i am feeling it right now from my brain to my fingers and all throughout. i am just so happy to be here, and i hope i can keep making the most of the little time i get left. here's to 2012, let's hope life keeps giving me new and unexpected experiences, lets hope i can start cementing porch relationships, and lets hope i keep waking up with a purpose and a hunger for life!
man, it's already februrarury. i can never adjust to the fact that every single year seems to go by even faster than the previous year. i can't believe that essentially, i spent an entire year focusing on school and work. never thought that would be me. i'm certainly not complaining, it was a great year, but i just look back and feel like so much of my time shouldve been devoted to finding and cementing lasting relationships. i watched a tv show called 'how i met your mother' and they were discussing passing the 'porch test.' whether you could see yourself hanging out on your porch with your friend when youre an old geezer. these are the people i want to gift my time to from now on. seems obvious, but for some reason in the past 4 or so years i have just been enjoying meeting new people so much that i have hopped from group to group, and none of the groups have held onto me tight enough to keep me around. (again, im so grateful for all the people ive met, but i miss relationship depth)
ramblin!
anyways. 2011 afforded me the opportunity to do alot of great things. obviously i began nursing school, got two grants, and began playing gigs with my band. another pleasant surprise was that i got the chance to roommate with my brother. i guess i should recant a bit. in terms of family i really am happy with the way i made them a priority last year. i barely had free time, and when i could make it happen i would hang out with my nephews, evan and liam, who are hands down the cutest kids ever made. sorry every other person ever born! and i've had a blast over the last year realizing how much i care for my sister and brother in law. they are definitely porch worthy.
but anyways, yeah, i was just feeling pretty trapped in my mom's basement which is NOT an ego booster, and charlie offered to let me room with him for cheap. i jumped at the chance and we ended up having 6 great months. i've been pretty fortunate to room with a great majority of the favorite people in my life. there are defintely a few others who i would like to get to live with but having had the chance to live with carrie and nik, dan and jon, zack, (tom and mom) and now char...i just am really thankful for my living situations.
me and char had a great summer. we played music, we went running and biking, we had a twilight zone night most nights, we danced while doing dishes, we drank on the stoop with the neighbors (who got me through a really rough patch of time), we danced in the rain, we made unused music videos, and we even played a little floor hockey. i miss it already.
again, i feel i should recant my first paragraph a bit. while i need a small crew for my future porch, if i was able to have a st louis sized porch, i would keep everyone i know around. i have met some of the most sincere and beautiful souls these last couple years. i don't even have time to discuss all the funny and cool people i have met in school (jeff, erica, jenny, among others) and out on the town (dozens of people come to mind, you know who you are), but one of the more interesting groups was the improve anywhere crew. we started off just imagining some funny scenarios in 2010, and it blossomed into a group that was performing at shows and galleries, modeling for websites and retail shops, and even making the news! here's a sample of the modeling i got to do, hahah, that is just so funny to me...
http://stl-style.com/_product_62179/Cherokee_People
that's all of the exciting things, but there has been a few difficult moments for sure. my grandma's dementia condition finally got to the point where we had to move her into a safer facility. it has been a very difficult transition for all involved. my mom has sacrificed most of her free time finding a new place for gma, getting her settled, taking care of her, and preparing gma's possessions for sale. the patience and unconditional love my mom has in her is inspiring. that woman never stops teaching me! ...but yeah, i moved into gma's house while we clean it up. it has been a weird experience. i keep trying to be ready to say goodbye to this house, but every time i imagine leaving for good i get teary eyed. i love change, but i fucking hate change too. i wish we could move on and just freeze places and people so we could come back and visit when we feel lost. at least we have the technology of pictures i guess. but that's almost more sad than not being able to go back. there was just so many good memories at my gma's house... man im rambly today.
another happening has been nothing short of tragic. one of my favorite people in the world had to experience the passing of her husband, tony, who was one of the strongest and kindest men i've ever had the honor of meeting. i mean this wasnt just some nice guy. this guy was the definition of man. he was strong in every sense of the word. he was a marine, a climber, a drummer, and a cancer survivor. he was a writer, an engineer, an artist, a gentle and passionate husband, and even a poodle enthusiast. he kept his dignity while facing death, which seems to be the real test of character. the guy always made you feel like a million dollars (or whatever it is now with inflation). he ended up losing the battle with GVHD. i've seen it before with my mom's best friend. i will never understand why people die young. it makes everything a little more real. everything a little more finite and temporary. a little more precious. watching a man like tony succumb to death made me realize again that i need to wake up with more purpose. i need to be the best transporter i can be. i need to be the best brother/son/friend/lover i can be. i need to be the best student i can be. i just need to focus on living right now. i need to be grateful for every breath i get the pleasure of sucking in and pushing out. i need to be grateful for every smile, kiss, and conversation i get to experience. i want to hug everyone a little tighter and dig a little deeper into their lives. i want to savor every good sip of whiskey, every rainy day, every mind blowing melody, every warm blanket on a cold night with a little more conscious appreciation.
we are so. fucking. lucky. to be alive. is there a point to it all? is God pulling strings? will i be as healthy and happy and alive tomorrow? i can't say. but i do know i am feeling it right now from my brain to my fingers and all throughout. i am just so happy to be here, and i hope i can keep making the most of the little time i get left. here's to 2012, let's hope life keeps giving me new and unexpected experiences, lets hope i can start cementing porch relationships, and lets hope i keep waking up with a purpose and a hunger for life!
Monday, December 12, 2011
coolest gig yet
welp, i kinda gave up on the blog, clearly. it seems that like 2 people read it so its not worth devoting time that i dont have to keep it up to date. but today was just a really fun day i would like to remember so im going to document, and ill throw some cliffnotes in real quicklike.
over this year the band began playing shows! the first gig came when a friend who works at a bar asked us if we were playing still and if we wanted to open for someone. we quickly asked my brother charlie if he would be willing to learn the songs, and to my pleasant surprise he was excited about it! weve played about 7 shows in 4 different venue, and we have grown in leaps and bounds. charlie used to shake uncontrollably on stage and now he dances like the hippy free spirit he was meant to be. i used to be scared to look at an audience and now (when the audience is nice, anyways) i am free to be myself and joke around and talk! we even got my friend chris to start playing drums with us at shows, which really makes us sound like a true band.
i played a show with another band and sang one song. the owner of the venue (the firebird) later said to charlie that it was the best local vocal performance he had seen.
we finished our demo record and put it up for free download at arthurandthelibrarian.bandcamp.com we are too poor and busy at the moment but we fully plan on making a cd, and david deck will be getting the very first copy free of charge for his support and encouragement.
we already have a second albums worth of material and are thinking of saving up gig money and going to a real studio for this one.
we were asked to play at the xmas party for st louis' music magazine 'eleven' magazine! that should be quite fun.
-----
nursing school is going swimmingly so far! i just finished my third semester, and second semester of clinicals and am looooving it. i am connecting so well with my patients and learning more than i thought i would have at this point...still soooo much i dont know. nurses are amazing. i want to be a good nurse so bad.
we finished 'demos' this year, which was the most stress inducing portion of the schooling.
i am still transporting at st johns, but have recently approached a manager about becoming a nurses aid. im ready for the next step.
school has been so full of tough moments and information that at times i feel very fragile and will tear up at the silliest moments (im like one of those girls who starts crying at a hallmark commercial. its weird). this career is definitely going to give me a thick hide. ...seeing death is a weird experience. i dont have time to explain that in depth unfortunately...
----
anyways, today is why im blogging. me and charlie had a gig of a different sort. we played and talked about music to a 2nd grade class at st. stephens. we had prepared 2 songs (cant buy me love, and charlie's jaguar and the fool song) and figured they would be bored after that. boy were we wrong! after our two songs and discussion, almost every kid raised their hand with questions. then they started requesting more songs! we played another song and answered another whirlwind of questions! then they asked for more songs! so we played impending doom. when they asked what the name of the song was charlie said, 'impending moon.' : ) then they asked for yet another song! we didnt have any songs ready that were really 2nd grade appropriate, so we played not in nottingham from the disney robin hood. i changed the lyrics on the fly to, 'cant there be some happiness for me? maybe at st steves.' : ) at that point we had been there about 50 minutes fielding questions and playing, so we said we had to go. some of the kids asked if we were on youtube and wanted to look us up (what? second graders?)
the class gathered round and we took a picture with them : ) a kid looked up at charlie and said, 'can i go home with you guys?' hearts=melted. then as we were putting our guitars away they all clapped and asked for more songs. many of them came up and gave us high fives while 3 of them came up nervously and gave me a hug. oy! more heart melting. one girl came up and said i should be a music teacher and that we were really good at music, and handed me a little piece of paper that said, "you are awsome, Aislin."
it was a good day.
over this year the band began playing shows! the first gig came when a friend who works at a bar asked us if we were playing still and if we wanted to open for someone. we quickly asked my brother charlie if he would be willing to learn the songs, and to my pleasant surprise he was excited about it! weve played about 7 shows in 4 different venue, and we have grown in leaps and bounds. charlie used to shake uncontrollably on stage and now he dances like the hippy free spirit he was meant to be. i used to be scared to look at an audience and now (when the audience is nice, anyways) i am free to be myself and joke around and talk! we even got my friend chris to start playing drums with us at shows, which really makes us sound like a true band.
i played a show with another band and sang one song. the owner of the venue (the firebird) later said to charlie that it was the best local vocal performance he had seen.
we finished our demo record and put it up for free download at arthurandthelibrarian.bandcamp.com we are too poor and busy at the moment but we fully plan on making a cd, and david deck will be getting the very first copy free of charge for his support and encouragement.
we already have a second albums worth of material and are thinking of saving up gig money and going to a real studio for this one.
we were asked to play at the xmas party for st louis' music magazine 'eleven' magazine! that should be quite fun.
-----
nursing school is going swimmingly so far! i just finished my third semester, and second semester of clinicals and am looooving it. i am connecting so well with my patients and learning more than i thought i would have at this point...still soooo much i dont know. nurses are amazing. i want to be a good nurse so bad.
we finished 'demos' this year, which was the most stress inducing portion of the schooling.
i am still transporting at st johns, but have recently approached a manager about becoming a nurses aid. im ready for the next step.
school has been so full of tough moments and information that at times i feel very fragile and will tear up at the silliest moments (im like one of those girls who starts crying at a hallmark commercial. its weird). this career is definitely going to give me a thick hide. ...seeing death is a weird experience. i dont have time to explain that in depth unfortunately...
----
anyways, today is why im blogging. me and charlie had a gig of a different sort. we played and talked about music to a 2nd grade class at st. stephens. we had prepared 2 songs (cant buy me love, and charlie's jaguar and the fool song) and figured they would be bored after that. boy were we wrong! after our two songs and discussion, almost every kid raised their hand with questions. then they started requesting more songs! we played another song and answered another whirlwind of questions! then they asked for more songs! so we played impending doom. when they asked what the name of the song was charlie said, 'impending moon.' : ) then they asked for yet another song! we didnt have any songs ready that were really 2nd grade appropriate, so we played not in nottingham from the disney robin hood. i changed the lyrics on the fly to, 'cant there be some happiness for me? maybe at st steves.' : ) at that point we had been there about 50 minutes fielding questions and playing, so we said we had to go. some of the kids asked if we were on youtube and wanted to look us up (what? second graders?)
the class gathered round and we took a picture with them : ) a kid looked up at charlie and said, 'can i go home with you guys?' hearts=melted. then as we were putting our guitars away they all clapped and asked for more songs. many of them came up and gave us high fives while 3 of them came up nervously and gave me a hug. oy! more heart melting. one girl came up and said i should be a music teacher and that we were really good at music, and handed me a little piece of paper that said, "you are awsome, Aislin."
it was a good day.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
fall semester, new year, tuition paid for, music progress
hah. well since the last time i posted a lot has happened. it is a new year, for starters. fall semester went swimmingly. it was quite easy and i met a handful of cool people who are joining me in nursing school, some of them even working at st johns. so its been a very supportive atmosphere, whenever im feeling lost i have a network to lean on.
im just gonna hit the highlights since my time is brief and im at bread co. i am actually on my new laptop that i got for xmas! i got it mainly to start working on song ideas while aubrey is away. however, me and aubs have still been playing music and recording whenever we are in the same town. we have an albums worth of songs done and will be making a cd soon titled, 'reverend white pigeon speaks on love and the end of the world.' and the cover art will be said pigeon courtesy of miss aubrey, who is quite the artist.
among her other skills, she is a talented networker and knows people at a radiostation in seattle, and a dj at loyolas college radio station. we were played on that station already and hope to get some more air time soon! so yeah, music is going great.
and though it would seem things cant get better, i found out some more wonderful news in this young new year. ive been communicating with a lady through missouri career sources ever since i was on unemployment, and she finally came through for me, and will be assisting me with the REST of my school bills! did i even talk about the labor grant? ohhh my lord. ok, so long story short, i got into a nursing program through the dept. of labor, and they are paying for 60% of my tuition. im not even going to talk about how my advisor didnt tell me about it, but suffice to say not only am i already into nursing school without having to be on any wait lists, i am getting everything. everything...paid for by the govt, because im broke. it seems like a sign from God that im heading in the right direction. before this all happened i could barely tie my shoes without asking someone for help (parents, friends) in areas i didnt understand. but now that ive decided what i want to do with my career, ive felt a weird new confidence that has made me a bit of a man of action. i wouldnt say this is in all areas of life, but its good to know im not completely useless.
those are the biiiig things in life, lots of fun stuff happening on the side, my brother moved into his own place, i started doing events with an improve group, i sold my car (which ive been trying to do for many months), and ive had quite a few fun roadtrips up to chicago.
heres a link to our website and to the radiostation that miiiight play our stuff again (on thursdays from 4-6) :
http://www.wix.com/howardaubrey/arthurandthelibrarian
http://wluw.org/ (click on the cloud at the top to listen)
im just gonna hit the highlights since my time is brief and im at bread co. i am actually on my new laptop that i got for xmas! i got it mainly to start working on song ideas while aubrey is away. however, me and aubs have still been playing music and recording whenever we are in the same town. we have an albums worth of songs done and will be making a cd soon titled, 'reverend white pigeon speaks on love and the end of the world.' and the cover art will be said pigeon courtesy of miss aubrey, who is quite the artist.
among her other skills, she is a talented networker and knows people at a radiostation in seattle, and a dj at loyolas college radio station. we were played on that station already and hope to get some more air time soon! so yeah, music is going great.
and though it would seem things cant get better, i found out some more wonderful news in this young new year. ive been communicating with a lady through missouri career sources ever since i was on unemployment, and she finally came through for me, and will be assisting me with the REST of my school bills! did i even talk about the labor grant? ohhh my lord. ok, so long story short, i got into a nursing program through the dept. of labor, and they are paying for 60% of my tuition. im not even going to talk about how my advisor didnt tell me about it, but suffice to say not only am i already into nursing school without having to be on any wait lists, i am getting everything. everything...paid for by the govt, because im broke. it seems like a sign from God that im heading in the right direction. before this all happened i could barely tie my shoes without asking someone for help (parents, friends) in areas i didnt understand. but now that ive decided what i want to do with my career, ive felt a weird new confidence that has made me a bit of a man of action. i wouldnt say this is in all areas of life, but its good to know im not completely useless.
those are the biiiig things in life, lots of fun stuff happening on the side, my brother moved into his own place, i started doing events with an improve group, i sold my car (which ive been trying to do for many months), and ive had quite a few fun roadtrips up to chicago.
heres a link to our website and to the radiostation that miiiight play our stuff again (on thursdays from 4-6) :
http://www.wix.com/howardaubrey/arthurandthelibrarian
http://wluw.org/ (click on the cloud at the top to listen)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
